Times are changing and now with Covid-19 we have to learn to interact in different ways than we usually do. Of course, Covid-19 is absolutely terrible, and I wish we can as quickly and as safely as possible get through all of this. I also hope that we can learn from this experience in many different ways.
Some of the things that are necessary now could perhaps make it easier for people like me to be accepted in society in a different way.
Things like working from home is being recognised in a different way, which could maybe lead to new job opportunities for those of us who have difficulties working in the normal stereotypical workplaces. We don’t all need to work from home all the time but having the right to do so on a regular basis could greatly affect those of us who struggle in a normal job.
I have also had to video chat more with people which, to my great surprise, can be an easier way of interacting sometimes. I honestly believe that video chatting could be a way for me to slowly become more social over time – that is, if video chatting could be included in friendly interactions as a more acceptable way of hanging out.
Why? Because when I meet people usually, I have to go out into the real world, I have to deal with sounds, smells and things like public transportation and the risk of interacting with strangers. In general, there’s a lot of stress and even anxiety associated with me going out at all.
I love coffee, I was even a barista for a while, but I never understood why people feel this great desire to meet up in coffee shops and drink expensive coffee ALL THE TIME. Coffee shops are noisy and packed with people and personally, I feel like I like the coffee I make myself better than spending a crazy amount of money on something that is more milk and artificial flavours than anything else.
I will admit that I do enjoy getting one of those flavoured cups of hot milk myself once in a while, I just always take it with me and go for a walk somewhere with less people. It’s not that I never go out to a coffee shop, but honestly, almost every time someone wants to meet up with me they either want to buy food or coffee and I neither have the money nor the energy for that being the only thing I do.
Meeting people online, however, video chatting or something, means that I can talk to others and be social without the added pressure of the outside world.
I can eat and drink the things I want and know, I can sit in my own chair or lie on my bed, I can go to the toilet and not have to be terrified of what sight might meet me there, I don’t have to worry about strangers talking to me, I don’t have to worry about my hypersensitivity – I can, all in all, feel safe and comfortable while being social.
And, yes, being social – even when talking to people I have known for years and consider the closets of friends – can at times be stressful and frightening beyond compare to anything else I have experienced so far in life.
Talking to strangers online or meeting new people online is different and it is entirely as frightening as meeting new people in real life simply because they are people I don’t know and in my experience, people online can be even more scary and toxic than people out in the real world.
My point is, to me at least, these last few months have opened up for more interaction happening online instead of face to face. I suppose, it must have for most of us, right?
I used to worry about it, because I hate talking on the phone because I can’t see who I’m talking to and never know when to talk and when not to talk. I also never understand when a conversation is over and always get confused about whether to hang up or not. With video chatting it’s different, somehow. I was scared at first, but I realised it is much easier for me than phone calls.
So, we are getting to what I actually want to talk about. Last week I went to my first ever online concert. I never even heard about a thing like it before, and when I did, I got really excited.
You know, when I was younger, I did go to concerts. I love music and I loved going to concerts, the only problem was I needed to drink quite a bit of alcohol to numb my hypersensitivity and my emotions enough to get through it.
Even with alcohol, it wasn’t easy. Obviously, concerts and such environments are basically a huge collection of everything that makes life difficult for those of us on the spectrum.
As I grew into adulthood it became less and less bearable to go through and I have honestly missed concerts very much. NOT the concert itself but hearing the music I love live – listening to the instruments and voices of the musicians is a wonderful and magical experience. Real music is just different from digital music, but of course there’s more to concerts than just that.
I have been able to go to smaller venues, little jazz places that have real bands playing and such. Those little places are less noisy and people are more relaxed. Those places are great, actually, and I can enjoy an evening out like that once in a while without too much trouble. Of course, live music like this is very different from music festivals and concerts by famous bands and singers, and therefore, I had accepted that some musicians I will never have the opportunity to listen to live and that is probably still true in many ways.
Some artists only have concerts that are far beyond anything I could ever participate in. I will never hear their music played in real life, only recordings of it.
Something, however, has changed a little. You see, a concert is not just music, it is also a show – a shared experience – that I thought I would never be a part of. Obviously I can watch, and have indeed seen quite a few, recordings of concerts and when I heard about this online concert I did think it would really just be like that – just like a recorded concert that we can watch whenever we want.
It wasn’t really, though. Part of it was, but then again, part of it felt different.
Now, the online concert was the Arafes 2020 with the Japanese boyband called Arashi. The funny thing about Arashi is that they are absolutely huge and yet, many in the west only heard about them recently – if at all. This year marks their 21st anniversary and also their last year before they go on hiatus from 2021.
I never really used to consider myself a fan, but I guess I have probably become one over time – I just never realised it myself.
You see, they were always just kind of in the background somewhere when I studied Japanese studies. I started university in 2007 and in 2008 I packed a bag and went on my first trip to Japan. I was alone and it was a pretty scary and yet wonderful experience, and before going home I had fallen in love with Japan.
It was the first time I came across Arashi, but far from the last. Over the years they became increasingly popular and more or less impossible to avoid – at least to me that was how it seemed.
Back in 2008 I started listening to Japanese music and watch Japanese dramas, so I was introduced to many different artists, musicians and performers of every kind. I liked a lot of different Japanese music and TV, but I generally have phases or periods where I listen to a certain kind of music or watch a lot of TV from the same genre or with the same actors/actresses. So, all these artists sort of come in and out of my consciousness.
Arashi, however, they never really left. They were always there. People always chose Arashi songs at karaoke, I heard Arashi music in many different and somewhat unexpected places, they were on TV series and in movies, they were on commercials and posters and such.
I never really thought about it, never went out of my way to get their albums or anything, didn’t bring them up in conversations, but somehow, they were just always there in the background.
I remember more than once, back when I was living in Japan and my Japanese was still really bad, having conversations in broken Japanese with different girls from my university (actually both times I was on exchange in Japan it happened all the time) about Arashi and the conversations were great practice, because they were always very similar.
I don’t think I ever met a girl in Japan who didn’t, when Arashi was brought up, ask me who my favourite Arashi member was and after that, well, the conversations were always pretty much the same.
It’s funny, because I had those conversations so often, they are all very clear in my mind as some of the first times in my life I ever felt like I was really, really speaking Japanese. They are great memories that to this day make me smile.
I have met plenty of people who weren’t familiar with Arashi, but I don’t think I have ever met anyone who, if they knew Arashi, didn’t like them. Arashi’s music is always just this happy bundle of joy, so over time, I slowly came to love their music.
I became a fan, perhaps I was slowly being brainwashed by their music over the last 12 or 13 years. I’ve been listening to Arashi, both by choice and by accident, since I started university, during both my exchanges to Japan, and during the time I have spent searching for a job since I graduated.
It came as a surprise to me when they announced their hiatus, because it came at the same time as I was basically going to restart my life. I was leaving behind my Japanese studies degrees to apply and attend vocational school – changing my life in a way I never have before.
In a way, because they go on hiatus from January 2021 and I start vocational school in January 2021 it feels like they are a symbol of an era in my life.
It might sound silly, but if my time at university had a theme song it would be played by Arashi.
So, ever since they announced their hiatus, I felt so sad that I have never gone to any of their concerts in real life. I’ve seen their concerts on TV, because if there’s one thing they do well, it’s a show. They have some pretty cool and very good-looking concerts with lights and dancers and fireworks and that sort of thing. I’ve wanted to go for years, but I never had the strength and I always assumed that they’d always be around. They had always been there, ever since I first went to Japan.
When they announced that because of Covid-19 the Arafes 2020 would be an online concert, pre-recorded, but streamed live and that tickets were available outside of Japan, I bought one right away.
Because it was streamed live and because the band talked to the audience behind the screens it felt different from the usual recorded concerts. Sure, it looked a bit funny once in a while because there was no audience and the National Stadium is a pretty big place, but it also looked good because they had placed lights in place of the audience.
They used the fact that it was pre-recorded, and it was a visually beautiful concert as is expected from Arashi.
It wasn’t listening to them in real life, but it was the closest someone like me will probably ever come to it. I felt like I was at a concert, but without all the things that hurt me and that is the point, right? It felt like being at a concert.
If I had any friends who were fans as well, I can imagine going with such friends to an online concert like this, even if we all streamed it from different places, and I think we would have a great time. I loved every moment of it, I loved feeling like I was a part of it, and I loved the music and show.
If other artists do online concerts, I would definitely want to go. I think, it’s probably not easy to do an online concert, because artists interact with the audience and it influences their performance, but because I am so impressed by Arafes 2020 and the performance of Arashi, I think there is a lot of potential here – especially for people like me.
It was none of the negatives of going out, the pressure or anxiety, and a lot more of the great things from concerts than I had ever expected.
Those of us with Autism Spectrum Disorder might not be able to go to concerts or be social at coffee shops all the time, but if we think about life and our interactions in different ways, then we can get around the things that challenge us.
We just need people to give us opportunities. Opportunities like online concerts, yes, but also just having friends who are okay with meeting up for coffee online once in a while.
It’s not just others giving us opportunities, though, we also need to be brave enough to go for those opportunities when we see them.
