Diet was not always a priority to me. Eating was always a challenge. In many ways, it still is.
Growing up, my mother approached my eating habits with a saintly patience, and it was perhaps because of her approach that I ended up the way I am. Both my parents have a wonderful relationship to food. My mother brought me out into the kitchen with her when she cooked, I can’t even remember the first time she did it – I am sure it must have been since I was just a baby.
She would make everything she could from scratch whether it was cheese, yoghurt, baked deliciousness or what ever was being made in the and around the kitchen. I remember, as a child, standing in the pantry next to the kitchen staring up at a ceiling covered in old stocking filled with walnuts fresh from our giant walnut tree in the garden.
I remember glasses of strange, coloured mixtures, marmalades and other things all stood side by side – seemingly too much for any one family to consume! I remember her giving me the spoon or bowl to eat the leftovers when she had baked a cake or cookies, it was better than that one time when she bought a huge bowl of Friday sweets.
My father was a hallal butcher, and my earliest memories are from his shop. I remember being in his big freezer in the back, animals hanging from hooks, all of them skinned and red and white colours showing – like they were almost glowing. I remember the blood from when he was cutting the pieces in the white cutting board which appeared to stretch from one end of the back room to the other end. The smell when he made sujuk was magical and even today it is one of my favourite dishes to cook for breakfast; sujuk fried with eggs, black olives, halloumi and flat bread. It’s my favourite breakfast food in the world.
You might have been surprised to hear that? With the title referring to me being a part-time vegan you could have expected this to be all about how meat is murder and how I hate it. Nothing could be further from the truth – I love meat. I always have and I always will. That being said, my life has never been better than it became when I decided to become a part-time vegan. It’s time to explain why.
Well, it all started when I was living in Tokyo. No, maybe it started before that. When I began my master’s degree, I suddenly started getting a lot of acne – A LOT. So much so, in fact, that the doctors had me go see a skin specialist. I could have gotten some medication, but honestly, I have been on enough medication in life.
I decided to find another way.
When I moved to Tokyo before I did my final thesis, I had also started gaining a lot more weight. Not that I was extremely overweight, it was just a little bit of belly and my thighs exploded to the sizes of small tree-trunks. My weight went up and down and after a while none of my clothes fit. I am aware others have struggled more with weight than I have, but I did gain enough weight for people to notice and comment. It made me feel even worse about myself, which wasn’t good, because my skin had already stripped me of most of my self-confidence.
I started working out and counting calories…. And if you tried this, you know as well as I that counting calories is so annoying. Sure, some people suddenly just remember and don’t have to weigh stuff or write down what they eat because they can count it all in their heads – I wasn’t one of those people. It was hell.
The exercise was wonderful. I used to do martial arts and dancing and other stuff, so I used to be in quite good shape. Working out again was amazing and I fell in love with it all over – just like I had before I started university. I ended up spending 1 or 2 hours at the gym 5 days every week even after I returned home.
It was during this time that I started changing diets. I couldn’t seem to find a diet that made me feel healthy and energetic. I tried different diets – soup diets, keto, paleo, vegetarian, raw food and full-time vegan and many, many more. I didn’t change my diet every day, I spend years trying out different things trying to find whatever was best. At first I was listening to doctors and specialists, but soon I realised that everyone argues their own case and beliefs – most of which are different depending on the personal preferences of the person.
While I was experimenting, I also became more and more aware of the critical time that our planet is entering into. I read a lot of books and papers on global warming, food production, the oceans, pollution etc. I am worried about our future, how can I not be? We treat each other and our planet like it’s all worthless and it breaks my heart.
I was taught by my parents from an early age to be grateful for the food that we eat, my father treated the animals he slaughtered with love and compassion – I know, some of you will say that’s impossible, but it really isn’t – and he gave me the same appreciation for our food. My mother never wasted food if she could avoid it and always made it clear that we should never forget that we are lucky to not go hungry to bed like some do.
Between the two of them I never really realised everyone didn’t think like that.
I was shocked to see the enormous waste and the insane consumption we have created for ourselves. I knew animals were being mistreated and abused, but I had thought as long as I know where my meat comes from – that it was treated well – then I did my bit. I was wrong. I was so very wrong.
Our planet cannot sustain our abuse of it and I am honestly afraid it’s too late now. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t do anything – far from it! We need to fight even harder to change this planet and make Earth a place that our children’s children will be able to love and appreciate too.
Again, I’m not writing this to tell you how to live your life, I’m writing to show you why I made the choices I did.
This was the moment I started wondering if I should become a vegetarian or vegan. I thought vegan was too extreme, but I have lactose intolerance, so I felt like it might not make a big difference in the end.
I loved meat – I already told you that. That is not the reason I still eat meat though.
When I stopped eating animal products my hair started falling off. I’m not saying a few extra hairs here and there, it was giant handfuls of hair – like someone going to chemotherapy and trust me, I wasn’t. It was scary – scarier than you can imagine. I always had a lot of hair, big and frizzy like dark halo around my head. My hair became thin and dead. I was tired all the time and became sick. It wasn’t just because I didn’t get enough protein, I always needed more protein than I got from a meat diet anyway, but now I was getting even less. I started drinking even more protein shakes every day and it helped a little – it didn’t change my life though.
A lot of people would use this as an argument that veganism is unhealthy, but I don’t believe this is true. It’s all about finding the right balance.
People don’t tell you that what makes transitioning to a new diet, like becoming vegan or vegetarian or something like that, even more difficult is that figuring out how to create your own meals so that you eat a balanced diet. I didn’t eat a balanced diet before, I think, but it becomes clear how important that is when you transition to a new diet.
That happened when, one random day during the winter, I decided to eat meat 2 days every week and be vegan the rest of the week. Suddenly, my fatigue went away and my hair started getting better – BUT that’s not all. I never felt better physically. It was nothing like when I ate animal products during the week. I have more energy, I feel happier, I sleep better. Everything changed.
Of course, now that I only eat animal products 2 days every week I only eat very good meat. I don’t mind spending money on good animals who had a happy, healthy life. I love doing that. It makes me even more grateful to eat it.
I also feel like I am doing more to save and protect our planet. We don’t all need to stop eating meat from one day to the next – we all need to consume less meat. We need to consider sustainability and to treat animals better, of course I believe in this. I won’t force you, or anyone else, to make this decision. I feel better than ever and I wish I could share that with all of you, but in the end, it’s up to you to decide what you are willing to do – or want to do – to protect our Earth and to be healthy.
The key thing you should bear in mind is that I stopped only listening to the opinions of others and started listening to my own body. I had to learn to differentiate between the unhealthy cravings of my body and what made my body healthy and strong, but that became easier with time. Cravings disappear in time, what makes your body healthy always makes it healthy.
I don’t really consider myself a true vegan, but a part-time vegan. Not just because I eat meat and put honey in my tea in the weekends, but because I don’t think any extreme is truly the right path. I think we need to be in balance with nature and animals, to live a life that is intertwined with nature and filled with gratitude and compassion for those around us – human and animal alike.
What I hadn’t expected was that eating this way had yet another unexpected effect. When I eat like this my hypersensitivity becomes more manageable and my symptoms generally aren’t as bad. My part-time vegan lifestyle has made it a bit easier to live with my diagnosis in this world and I am very grateful I found out. It was a lot of hit and miss trying to find the right diet, but this is in my opinion the best option for me.
I feel healthier and happier all around and at the same time I am doing what I can to make the world better. Because I truly believe that every choice we make is important, our food choices definitely have an effect on the future of our planet – just like it has an effect on us personally.
My choices are my choices and these are my reasons for choosing the diet I have. Do you think about what you eat too or is it just not important for the happiness in your life? I think either way is fine, but I am curious as to what others think about these things. Life is about choice and we each have to decide for ourselves.
