Updates 2019

July Update

Right, welcome back! I have made a new design so my blog now has a completely new look.

Okay, okay, so, not a lot changed, but still. I really like the new design. I spend days trying out different themes and colours and design styles – to the point that I reached my breaking point several times. It was a challenge far beyond what I could have imagined.

I would find a new theme, change fonts and colours and things only to find one, little thing that I hated and couldn’t change. Then I had to do it all over again, only to find a something else I didn’t like and couldn’t change.

It was pretty horrible and I’m sure people avoided me like the plague, because I was not happy during those days. My mood was anything but bright. It was one of those phases when I honestly consider whether or not to stop blogging or writing all together, just to lie down and accept that life is not ever going to be anything but painful.

In the end, I figured it out. I decided not to change a lot. I am still learning, as you know, so I’m doing the best I can with what I have.

I tried to create a newsletter a few months back, but I just didn’t have the skills. I fought for weeks to figure out how to create an email list and make it work and it just didn’t work.

I realise now that I just didn’t use the right tools.

A friend of mine from university, we meet up once in a while, told me that she could help me when I by chance complained about my epic failure to make an email list. She nonchalantly mentioned she had set up some email lists at work and could do it for me. Needless to say, I was the happiest girl alive at that moment.

The other day we met up and she helped me set it all up and taught me what I needed to know – the basics, which is really what I needed to learn. The basics. It’s all I really need to learn.

When she helped me, it became so simple and all my anxiety about it seemed to seep away. It really helps to have someone to ask for help sometimes, and honestly one of the things that have made me feel most lonely and sad in my life is that I don’t have a lot of people like that in my life. I never had.

So, if you want to sign up for my brand-new newsletter, you can do that by clicking on this link.

I hope you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I’ll enjoy writing it!

And what does the future bring, you ask, now that I’ve solved the one issue that has been weighing most heavily on my mind when it comes to my blog?

I will continue to learn, but for a while the changes you see probably won’t be noticeable unless you pay very close attention to details. I’ve fixed the big things I wanted to change, and now I feel more relaxed and free to enjoy my blogging again.

I’ll wait with any big changes for now. Learning the basics is more than enough to frustrate me regularly. I don’t need more than that right now.

Writing simply for they joy of writing is also something that has been difficult for a while now, because it was tainted by my constant guilt and frustration over not working hard enough to learn and make my website better. When I sat down to write all the things I needed to do, all that I need to learn and everything that I still don’t understand came crashing down on me and made me feel stupid and hopeless.

Now that I finally fixed some of the things I’ve been wanting to feel, I hope that I can go back and enjoy my writing again – guiltlessly. It makes me feel a lot better than I have in a long time. I’ve missed writing a lot. It’s like breathing for me, essential to my survival.

I would love to hear what you think about the new design, so let me know either on my social media (Instagram, Twitter or Tumblr) or message me directly.

Kai

I graduated my masters in 2017 with a major in Japanese studies and a minor in international relations. Since my graduation I have focused on figuring out who I am, because I was diagnosed with Asperger's (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and it made me rethink my life and allowed me to understand myself better. Because I have always been passionate about writing, I decided to blog about my life in the hope that it can increase autism awareness.

You may also like...