Back in 2017 a lot had just happened to me. I graduated from university with a masters degree in Japanese studies, but I couldn’t get a job to pay off all of my students loans, so yes, I was a bit worried about my future. Then I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
It wasn’t my first diagnosis, but it was the first diagnosis to change my life in a positive way – just maybe not in the way you think. It didn’t help me get help, because the kind of help available to people like me is very often more trouble than it is worth. Many people also have very strange misunderstandings about what Autism Spectrum Disorder actually is, so now I also have to deal with that op top of everything else.
I have struggled with depression, anxiety and PTSD most of my life. I struggled with feeling stupid in school because I have dyslexia and because I was a socially awkward and nerdy kid.
All my life I felt as if I was broken, but because of my diagnosis I finally understood how wrong that is.
I was never broken, just different.
It wasn’t enough, though. I wanted to understand myself better and to that I created this blog. It is my journey, my story and my life. I have made so many mistakes over the years, but I have learned from those mistakes. I share my life here to increase awareness about autism, but I also hope that my experiences can be some support for those who have similar struggles. I try to explain everything, even my darkest moments, with a little sense of humour and lightness.
This blog is not just meant for those of us on the spectrum, but also for people who want to interact with people like me, friends or family members of people on the spectrum and for people who are simple curious about life on the spectrum.
Remember, it is a spectrum and my experiences are merely one expression of Autism Spectrum Disorder. If you really want to know more about yourself or others on the spectrum, it is a life long journey.
Do not be afraid of the journey. It may be a difficult and challenging one, but it is also a very beautiful.